September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. It is an important month for those who support people who have made suicide attempts, who work in the mental health field, and those who support or have lost loved ones to death by suicide. September is a particularly important month for me. September 3rd was 12 years since my last attempt.
I work especially hard in September for various reasons, but the main reason is because I want to stop others from attempting to end their lives. Many of the things that I do and share require a great deal of emotional work. Emotional work is never easy for me. It brings about an added stressor that I may or may not be able to manage.
Being honest with myself is a big part of my healing journey. I would not be at the place that I am now if I could not face some hard truths. One of those hard truths is to know when I have reached my emotional limit. We all have an emotional limit. When I reach mine I have to decide if I’ll push to get to an end game or if I will listen to what my mind and body are telling me.
My mind and body are telling me that I have reached my emotional limit. Sharing my story is easy. I know when and how much to share. God guides me with that. He gives me bits and pieces along with reminders of how far I’ve come. When researching and relaying the reality of suicide, why it happens and how we can prevent it it becomes emotionally taxing.
I’m taking a writing class and I wrote something that summed of some recent reading on the topic of suicide prevention and I knew when I read it for my class that it was emotionally too much for me. I’m proud of myself for this realization. I didn’t always know how to take care of my needs. I do now. I have fought too hard to get where I am to go backwards. Don’t act dramatic and start sending out an s.o.s. I just realized in the midst of reading that I could not handle it.
For the remainder of the month I will pivot and change my focus. I will put out emotionally encouraging content, funny content, and content about gratitude. I can handle that and it will fill my spirit. Prayerfully it will brighten the day of those otherwise might not have a bright moment.
I’d like to encourage you to learn your limits. Learn when you've reached your limit not to push yourself past them. Understanding what you can and can’t handle is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Your mind and body will thank you, and you're worth it!