It can be exhausting having a mental illness. Don’t get me wrong, everything that I do to maintain my mental wellness is worth it. I would never want to go back to my darkest moments. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get tired. I know that I have to be cautious even as I write this. My mental state requires me to focus on positive things and my healing. It is for this reason that I am going to share all that I am grateful for.
I am grateful for my mom. She really is my biggest supporter and cheerleader. If she’s not feeling it then I need to take heed because she always has my best interest at heart. Shout out to Clara!
I am thankful for Papa. He knows when to listen and when to speak. He also knows how to say things in a way that I am able to receive his advice.
I am grateful for my Aunt Pat. She is hilarious! Her joy brings me joy unless we’re playing Taboo then it’s just a mess. We get each other and I am grateful that I don’t have to explain myself or my feelings to her. She is just there to love me as I am.
I am grateful for the hardest job that I’ve ever had and that is being a mom. Being Jeremy’s mom is my greatest accomplishment. There have been days that a hug from him has made life better.
Bria is going to be super jealous but I am so grateful for Wiggles. He changed me. He became an extension of the love that I feel for his mom. His hugs, his laugh and smile, his stubbornness, and his strength amaze me in a way that I cannot put into words.
I am grateful for my siblings. From the top: I love that my brother Bim will call me on a random Thursday just to tell me that he loves me. I love that my sister Sue has a giving spirit. I made a joke on FB when Jeremy was a teen and needing to start a GoFundMe. She called to ask me what he needed. I love that my brother Chion can tell me how proud of me he is without it feeling weird. When we were kids he took joy in my tears. Now he does what he can to bring me a smile. I love my sister Rhonda for always supporting me. She is always able to calm my fears. I feel so much safer when she is around. I love the knucklehead in a special way. When Nolan calls me Sisally my heart smiles.
I won’t go through my Ladies but I am so grateful for their love, support, listening ear, wit, sarcasm, liveliness, intelligence, talents… and so much more. My life would be way too dull without them.
I am so grateful for my angels looking over me. I miss them but am so grateful for the time that I had with each of them.
I am realizing how long this list could get. I love that my cousin Myah hugs me and comforts me whenever she sees me cry. I am grateful that I have witnessed my cousins Barrett and Anitres live their academic and professional dreams. I am grateful that my stylist has the biggest heart and the best listening ear of anyone I know. I am so super grateful for my cousin Nika and how we can talk and laugh for hours without missing a beat. I am grateful that I get to spend holidays with people I love; My Aunt Lona laughing loudly, that pandemic baby on the loose, Bo Bop sharing some ridiculous fact, my cousin Mariah singing her karaoke song better than the rest of us.
My life is full! While I fight my mental illness I am reminded that one of the best tools I have is to fight depression is a heart of gratitude. I must focus on what’s right in my world rather than my challenges. Am worth all good things that God gives me! You’re worth it too!